Trinity 22 November 17, 2019 The Sunday of the Unforgiving Servant
Trinity 22
Matthew 18:21-35
November 17, 2019
What to do with ‘X’
In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Peter asks Jesus the question, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?” He asked it because Jesus was just talking before that about how to handle a brother who sins against you. So Peter then asks, “How many times do we have to do this?” What Peter is really getting at here is, “Lord, what do you do with someone that annoys you over and over and over again?”
Now this is one of those Sundays that I’m going to say to you that if you don’t get anything out of Jesus’ sermon today then that’s your fault. Because which one of us doesn’t say, “What am I going to do with ‘X’?” We all must deal in this life with people who repeatedly sin against us and it annoys us to no seeming end.
When Jesus says we must forgive our brother or God won’t forgive us, we usually think of people who have committed big sins and we’ve held a grudge for a long time. And those are definitely hard to forgive. But here Peter is asking more about the small sins committed over and over and over again. “Jesus, what do you do with a husband who nags you over and over and over again?” “Lord, what do you do with your sister who brags and brags over and over again?” “Jesus, what do you do with a son who talks back over and over and over again?” “Lord, what do you do with your Christian friend who lies and exaggerates the truth over and over again?” “Lord, what do you do with ‘X’ who says they’re going to do something and then never does it?” “Lord, what do you do ‘X’ who is bossy all the time?” “Lord, what do you do with ‘X’ who is overly dramatic about everything?” “Lord, what do you do with ‘X’ who loses their temper over and over again?”
Do you see what we’re dealing with here today? The one who is hard to forgive day after day after day? C. S. Lewis has a short, little essay he wrote entitled, “The Trouble with ‘X’”. (That’s where I’m taking the ‘X’ from.) And he describes this same thing where someone in our lives is especially hard to deal with. And he says that we love to say, “You know, the trouble with ‘X’ is just that they’re ____________________ (fill in the blank).” And then we think that if only we could correct that, or if only this or that would happen, or if only they would see this or that, then everything would be better. But it doesn’t happen. Instead, we drive ourselves crazy trying to change certain things that can’t be changed. You see what we’re doing there—trying to fix everything ourselves? Doesn’t work out too well. He says that we must learn to turn to God which I’ll come back to in a minute.
Here’s the challenging thing. God says we MUST forgive. That’s His command. All through the Scriptures you’ll notice this pattern emerge—that whenever you do something to your fellow neighbor, you do it to God. Of course, you remember Jesus words that, “When I was hungry, you fed Me. Thirsty you gave Me drink. Naked you clothed Me. Whenever you did it to the least of these you did it to Me.” Good or bad—if you do it to your neighbor you do it to the Lord. But there’s also Numbers 5:6 where the Lord says that any sin is a sin against the Lord. Anytime you sin against your neighbor you’re sinning against the Lord. Every sin is a sin against the 1st commandment.
This is true for two reasons. First, God made every man, woman, and child Himself. Made them in His own image. And secondly, Jesus, the Son of God, shed His blood on the cross for every man, woman, and child. So any man, woman, or child that you sin against is a sin against the Lord. So if you lie to your brother, you’re lying to the Lord. If you lose your temper with your sister, you’re losing your temper with the Lord. You see how it works. And now, our great importance for today, if you refuse to forgive your brother, this also is against the Lord. And so Jesus says that He will not forgive you. So here we have a major problem. It’s very hard to forgive ‘X” day after day but if we don’t then God won’t forgive us. What do you do?
Now let’s be clear about the problem. The problem isn’t truly anyone else. We like to make it out to be. But if we can’t forgive, the real problem is always us. In that essay, C. S. Lewis says there’s always one person in the room that God sees that we don’t see. He sees one other really annoying person who also has major flaws in their character and commits the same sins day after day after day. He sees all the other annoying people also. But He sees one more than we see. Of course, He sees ourselves. That’s our problem. We don’t look in the mirror. If we looked in the mirror, we would see our own sin and see the great forgiveness, grace, and love of our Father in heaven.
This is why Jesus tells the parable of the unforgiving servant. We must see our own hypocrisy. We must look in the mirror. God has forgiven us a massive load of sin. The amount that the servant owes to the king in the parable is astronomical. Billions of dollars in our calculating today. It is absolutely impossible for us to pay God off for our sins. Yet He graciously cancels the debt because He gave His Son to pay it on the cross. You owe God big. And He has forgiven you big.
But then would we turn around and find our annoying neighbor and say, “I’m not going to forgive you because you annoy me day after day!” There’s an answer to this un-forgiveness. We must turn back to our King and God and live in His grace. Then we will be able to be graceful to ‘X’, the one we don’t know what to do with.
Now please notice something very important. I didn’t say the answer to your un-forgiveness is that you must forgive. The answer is our King, Jesus. He’s the answer. You will never forgive perfectly. You might right now be thinking, “I’ll never be able to forgive everyone perfectly. Does that mean God won’t forgive me?” The very fact that you want to forgive is proof that you know Jesus and you believe in Him.
Jesus forgave perfectly, didn’t He? “Father, forgive them, for they know now what they do.” He did that perfectly for you. You will never forgive perfectly. But you believe in Jesus. And because your heart is turned toward your gracious King, you want to forgive others. You want to live like Jesus. He is our answer when we are unforgiving. We repent, which means literally to turn toward Jesus again.
To be even more specific and clear I will talk about the Lord’s Supper. You’ve all been taught that you shouldn’t receive the Lord’s Supper if you are holding a grudge against someone. And this is true. But we shouldn’t take this to mean that we should never take the Lord’s Supper if we’re struggling to forgive others. Then we would never receive Communion. If you have hardened your heart with an absolute refusal to forgive then you should talk to the pastor before you go to the altar. But none of us is a perfect forgiver. That’s why we need Jesus. That’s why we’re going up to receive His body and blood. He’s the answer to our problem if we’re wrestling with the sin and wanting God’s help and mercy.
By the way, I might remind you that in Luke’s Gospel when Jesus tells them to forgive seventy times seven times, it’s right there that the disciples exclaim, “Lord, increase our faith!” What am I going to do with ‘X’? Lord, increase my faith in Jesus. That’s the answer. Jesus is the answer.
Now, in conclusion, I will deal with a few points about forgiveness that you need to take notice of lest there be any misunderstanding:
First, the reason you must forgive is because God says so. End of story. You will easily come up with a million reasons why you don’t think you should have to forgive. It doesn’t matter. God says so and you must do it. Forget all your excuses. If Joseph had to forgive his annoying brothers who sold him, you must forgive.
Second, there are those in this earth whose office it is to punish and not to forgive. So, for example, judges are there to punish not to forgive. Imagine the kind of world we’d have if we just forgave every criminal and said they could go free. Also teachers must punish students. Parents must punish their children. In this world there must be these offices where sin is punished. Now, of course, they can personally forgive their children or students or criminals, etc. But in their office they must give the appropriate discipline.
(These next two didn’t get in the outline so you’ll have to add them) Thirdly, telling you to forgive doesn’t mean that you can’t make changes to minimize the problem. If you have a co-worker who is always lying, you must forgive. But you might also eat lunch with someone else or ask for a transfer. Whatever the case. Jesus telling us we must forgive doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be wise and prudent and work to avoid temptations.
Fourth, what if ‘X’ doesn’t acknowledge they’ve done any wrong and doesn’t even want our forgiveness? Yes, that’ll happen. But we must remember that forgiveness is commanded much more for us than it is for our neighbor. We forgive lest sin take over our own hearts. But to go back to the previous point, if someone isn’t sorry for their sin there may come a time when we have to take it to the authorities (whoever they are in this case.)
Fifth, Jesus says our forgiveness must be “from the heart”. There’s a reason he adds those words. We often say we forgive but we’re really just waiting for an opportune time to get some revenge, be it big or small. This is sin. God sees your heart. How would it be if God said He forgave you but actually hated you in His heart? Forgiveness must be from the heart.
Finally, to reiterate the main point of the entire message today—we pray for help in the Lord’s Prayer, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” The answer is faith in Jesus and that’s why we pray to Him for help. You will never forgive perfectly. And there will always be people that you say, “What am I going to do with ‘X’?” But turn to the King who has forgiven you. Pray to Him for help. Lord, forgive me as I forgive ‘X’.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.